How Can We Bring About Positive Change from the LDS Conference Rhetoric?

I'm so alarmed by the recent rash of suicides among the LGBT youth in America, and after this weekend, living in Salt Lake and being fully exposed to the information disseminated at this weekends General Conference, I'm very sad that the leaders of the LDS church, the default religious leaders of my community, are still encouraging division among brothers & sisters. It's just so wrong! And so I, like so many others, am once again driven to speak out about my own feelings.

The widespread dissatisfaction with the LDS church leadership I am currently witnessing is not a new phenomena. It's been this way since the very inception of the LDS church - the public at large didn't like what Joseph Smith was doing with his new religion & congregation. This disapproval (though it was mostly disapproval at what Joseph Smiths did with others' wives and various con jobs he was wrapping up on the side) is what led to the mobs that drove the Mormons from every city they settled in until they ultimately turned to the inhospitable Salt Lake valley. Surely there have been spikes in the negative public image at various points in history. Things were pretty bad back in 1978 just before blacks were gifted with the priesthood through a new revelation. Certainly things have been heated since Proposition 8 came along, thrusting the involvement of individual members (at the encouragement of church officials from the pulpit) into the limelight. So this recent rash of youth suicides I mentioned...  It has brought this newest chapter in the long civil rights path of our young country to a head once again.

Justin Aaberg, 15, Anoka, Minn., July 9, 2010
Billy Lucas, 15, Greensburg, Ind., Sept. 9, 2010
Seth Walsh, 13, Tehachapi, Calif., Sept. 19, 2010
Tyler Clementi, 18, Ridgewood, N.J., Sept. 22, 2010
Asher Brown, 13, Cypress, Texas, Sept. 23, 2010
Raymond Chase, 19, Monticello, N.Y., Sept. 29, 2010

Children are killing themselves because they are alienated from their peers in every way.  And their peers alienate them because their own parents and leaders have taught them to fear and scorn anyone that is different from them.  And this back-to-school trend is absolutely not the beginning of youth suicides.  I got a mailing from the Human Rights Campaign that talked about the suicide of Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, an 11 year old Massachusetts boy in 2009, due to bullying because he "acted like a girl". There are so many. It's truly tragic and alarming. My own 11 year old son is the victim of bullying and ridicule at school this year, simply because he has long hair. Kids call him a girl and tease him mercilessly, just because of their perceptions about sexuality!

This weekend was the LDS church's fall session of their General Conference. This is an opportunity for the membership to hear messages from the top leadership of the church. And as is typical at this time each year, things are heating up. I've read a few news articles yesterday and today, excerpting Boyd K Packer's talk, but after several LDS members claimed his message is being taken out of context, I decided to listen to the entire talk on the church's own website lds.org.
Packer begins by proclaiming the fear and confusion facing the young people of the church today. He refers to the churches revelation "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", issued 15 years ago. He quotes it in part by reading the following:

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

He then further quotes LDS scripture to define union between a man and woman as a commandment from God. He goes on to discuss the concept of free agency, so prevalent in this religion. He talks about how sacred is our ability to create life. He talks about obedience and prayer. He promises that an obedient, willing & prayerful husband and wife will be gifted with children, happiness & a personal relationship with God. These blessings, including children, may come now or in the hereafter. He also stipulates that "pure love presupposes that only after a pledge of eternal fidelity, a legal & lawful ceremony and ideally after a sealing ordinance in the temple, are those life giving powers released to the full expression of love. It is to be shared only and solely between a man & woman, husband and wife with that one who is our companion forever." He warns that Satan is miserable and impotent, and that he can not stand any happiness and seeks to tempt us to sin and therefore, into misery. He likens pornography to a plague, "relentlessly trying to invade every home mostly through the husband and father". He talks about the spiritual fatality caused by this plague. He then promises that the priesthood can protect us from this plague, or any other bad habits and addictions. He warns parents to protect their families from these plagues. He warns not to succumb to these counterfeits for marriage. His next quote lays out exactly how he feels about homosexual tendencies, and the italicized portion is the quote which has sparked so much upset and so many claims of being taken out of context.

Any persuasion to enter into any relationship that is not in harmony with the principles of the gospel must be wrong. In the Book of Mormon we learn that wickedness never was happiness. Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn tendencies toward the impure and the unnatural . Not so. Why would our heavenly father do that to anyone? Remember, he is our father."

He quotes more scripture and goes back to talk of breaking addictions through the power of the priesthood. Then he goes on to tell a story of a child who brought a kitten to class with him. the children asked if the kitten was a boy or a girl and the teacher quickly asserted that it didn't matter. But the children persisted and finally one boy said he knew how to tell - they could vote on it!

You may laugh at the story. But if we're not alert, there are those today who not only tolerate but advocate voting to change laws that would legalize immorality, as if a vote would somehow alter the designs of Gods laws & nature. A law against nature would be impossible to enforce. For instance what good would a vote against the law of gravity do? There are both moral & physical laws, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundation of the world that cannot be changed."

He warns that if the membership does not protect the LDS idea of family, the very foundation of civilization will be threatened. He begins to wrap up his address with a message of repentance for your unworthy habits and addictions. He promises peace & happiness for families who are obedient to these laws.

Now, after going over the entire address, I can safely say nothing is taken out of context. With that in mind, here's what I think of his words. I've noticed that President Packer tends toward this theme. He harps on homosexuality, intellectuals, feminists, morality, pornography, etc. I wonder what sins he sees in himself that make him so fearful of these things. In a facebook note linked below the comments suggest Packer is gay and another commenter, a church member, is insulted at the "disgusting things" implied about President Packer. I was far more offended by the statement that being gay is disgusting, than I ever would be, were it implied that my religious leader was gay! Her paradigm demands that she see that as disgusting. I see it not as an inflammatory remark to imply such, but simply an obvious possibility based on human behavioral psychology.

Anyhow, skipping further speculation on Packer's sexual tendencies, I see Packers early comments about the family and free agency as a way to ensure that his congregation perceives homosexuality as a choice. His provision that a husband and wife may be gifted with children only in the hereafter is typical of the LDS church's advice of delaying blessings & happiness till the next life, in exchange for suffering in this one. Just as they counsel their homosexual members to live celibate lives now in order to possibly be free of these desires someday, maybe not till the next life.

When he quotes the scripture "wickedness never was happiness", he implies gays are miserable. He mixes together references to homosexuality as this "fake unnatural love" with the feelings of shame & guilt associated with pornography in order to confuse his congregation and make them fearful of homosexual relationships. Packer's switch from addictions to homosexuality & back again works to suggest to the congregation that homosexuality is somehow a bad habit or an addiction to be overcome.

When he talks about voting on natural laws, my blood really starts pumping. Gravity is indeed an irrevocable law that can not be changed, even if we were to put it to a vote. The ridiculousness of this statement is unmatched in his talk, since gravity is a proven scientific fact, demonstrable in every aspect of our daily lives. Morality however, is a fluid social agreement, based on the times we live in. For instance, it used to be moral for a Mormon man to have several wives. Currently I believe several wives is considered immoral among the Mormon leadership. Until someone can prove to me a constant, unchangeable law of morality, I won't have this conversation.

It just makes me want to cry for these manipulated children when he ends with an admonishment to repent. The entire message of fear is couched in language of parental love and concern. Well I'm not buying it!

As a personal side note, that from-the-pulpit fear mongering couched in fake love, and dripping with old-man creepiness I might add, is a large reason for my departure from regular church attendance, and a contributing factor in my decision to "resign" from their membership officially.

This sort of fear mongering and hate rhetoric fan the flames of homophobia. My 11 year old son, the same boy who gets teased for his long hair, has 3 friends. Today he came home and informed me that his parents told him he can no longer have sleep overs. His parents told him yesterday evening that sleeping over with friends led to temptations they need to protect him from. Wow.

So now we see stuff like this facebook note that very closely reflects my own feelings on Packers address, as well as fantastic official statements like this one from The Human Rights Campaign. Joe Solmonese, president of HRC says:

Words have consequences, particularly when they come from a faith leader. This is exactly the kind of statement that can lead some kids to bully and others to commit suicide. When a faith leader tells gay people that they are a mistake because God would never have made them that way and they don’t deserve love, it sends a very powerful message that violence and/or discrimination against LGBT people is acceptable. It also emotionally devastates those who are LGBT or may be struggling with their sexual orientation or gender identify. His words were not only inaccurate, they were also dangerous.

Educated LDS friends talk about how they don't agree with Packer's statements about homosexuality not being preset. I don't understand how someone can pick and choose which tenets of their gospel they can agree with. If my religious leader is preaching something that rings false to me, this is a red flag for the entire belief system in my opinion. One very telling comment touched me.

When I hear the words of President Packer, my heart hurts and I feel uncomfortable. I interpret this as a departure of the spirit. When my own leaders counsel causes this departure of the spirit, what am I to make of it?

As Duane Jennings, co-director of the Salt Lake chapter of Affirmation says... this weekends conference comments about gays are "evidence that the church hasn’t really changed, and that its positive moves [like supporting Salt Lake City’s anti-discrimination statutes] have been just an attempt to improve its image in the wake of Proposition 8.” I'm afraid of what may come from this latest log on the firey civil rights debate. I don't think we've seen the last of our losses unfortunately. And like Isaac Higham, I feel that "the blood of the innocents drips from the hands of those who strangle the life and the hope out of them through their bully pulpit." But as renown author John Krakauer extensively demonstrates in his book "Under The Banner of Heaven", the LDS church has a rich tradition of violence and separatism. Their leadership believes in the blood atonement and it could be that none of this even bothers these men.

All I can do is hope more people will feel the truth and see how false this message is. I believe that someday we will move past hate, and even past tolerance, and past acceptance, into a real and complete love of each other, for all our similarities and our differences! And I think this message of fear from President Packer is just the sort of vehicle to bring about some of that change! I have faith that at least some people will instinctively want to move away from this message of division and fear, and find something that feels closer to God, without the strings of fear and brainwashing attached. And what a wonderful thing it is, when we start our quest for a higher truth! Some beautiful journeys have just begun!

- Flora

From The Chapter: Fighting Against The Knife

Today we've got a new treat! A friend of ours, Steven H. Lee, recently wrote the book, Falling Into Life: A Gay Exmormon's Journey and agreed to let us post an excerpt. One thing I think about very often is how, despite much good done in the world, organized religion has terribly slowed the progress of equal rights. I can't imagine being a young homosexual, knowing I could never be myself because even my omniscient God disapproved of me. Not just knowing I could never be myself, but knowing my self was inherently wrong. I can't stand it. This chapter touched me. It made me want to act. It made me want to call my Senators and the White House and anyone else who runs for public office and tell them it's time for ENDA, it's time to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and do anything else to make us all actually equal. Oooh, and it also made me want to read the rest of the book!!

From the chapter: Fighting Against the Knife

I use this analogy to describe my own growing homosexuality experience; I call it the “knife”. It was like all the prophets, all the speakers, my lifetime of every religious discussion, all the words, the scriptures, the counsel, and the doctrine became a terrible jagged knife that was being pushed right into my heart. And everyone I knew, my leaders, my family, all my close relationships, they were all pushing that knife into my heart, and I was the only one holding it back. All their hands on that knife handle pushing it in, and I could feel my hands on theirs trying to stop the pain.
The creation of the knife starts early. It is a curious thing that happens to a young innocent child, that moment when you realize that you are the enemy. For me it happened when I was quite young, probably twelve years of age. I saw myself as all the rest, in line for God’s love expecting great things, and feeling as loved and as impervious as the rest of my comrades. The moment was confusing to me, and I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me, but there it was, these scriptures in the bible that said that homosexuals were the enemy. An abomination. A horror in God’s eyes.
It was part of a Sunday School lesson and we were taught two scriptures in Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13: "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; both of them have committed an abomination," and "If a man lies with a man as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death; their blood is upon them." Then it was followed with a handful of Prophetic teaching mirroring the same concept: Homosexual sin is next to murder.

The knife slowly sharpening.

I had already become aware that Mormonism had clear rules and regulations for salvation, beginning as a young child in primary learning to give everything to God and to worship the prophet via cute songs. I was already collecting dimes and nickels for my tithing, and I knew that Satan was waiting in the wings for me, with his legions of demons tempting me to fall out of grace and into hell. I also knew that something was askew inside of me, although I was unable to put my finger on it...

...After we consummated our marriage, I knew I was doomed. The spark was not there. I was lost. I had been counseled that marriage would make me straight, and in that one moment, in my first thrust, I knew it was a lie. I wanted my heart to pound, I wanted this so bad, and it was not happening. It was not going to save me, it was not going to happen. She was a virgin who was saving herself for marriage, only to marry a gay man. I knew it was a tragedy of epic proportions.
I didn’t give up. Maybe God could still save me somehow. It was a sin, I was hell-bound, and she was going to be my salvation. Sixteen years later, after confessing to my wife I was gay in year four of our marriage, after twelve years in "conversion therapy", years of heart ache, cheating, bargaining with God, three kids and absolute mental devastation, I felt suicidal.
I had remained active through it all, and it had not saved me. I had done everything God asked me to do, and I was still gay. So many hands were on the knife handle now, and now her hands were on the knife handle with everyone else’s. I couldn't imagine myself making one of my own children suffer this way, and yet my Heavenly Father had stayed silent for twenty-six years through all of it, not once offering me any help. How could he be so terribly uncaring toward one of his own suffering children? I felt more isolated than at any time of my life, and I was doing everything right that I knew to do. I was being hung out to dry.
It felt as if I was fighting for my life. I was in such tremendous agony, and everyone had the words, “We love you…” falling from their lips as they pushed the knife harder and harder into my heart. I became so distraught that I was willing to let my spiritual life end to never feel that awful again. I became so emotionally detached and wounded, and something deep inside me snapped. I decided that I would stand up and face it! No matter how much push back I received, I would not back down. I owed myself a genuine life, and if the angels came to kill me, then so be it. I was done feeling shitty. No longer would I passively let my heart be threatened with violent ideas of destruction. I would turn that knife around and I would wield it at them. I would fight!
The visceral pain was so threatening to me that I began having severe panic attacks. I was already experiencing panic attacks due to my relationship with my parents, but when I decided to leave, the whole weight of the experience, the fear of all the years that had been programmed into my brain came rushing out. I dreamed angels came down from heaven and slashed my throat. I dreamed that I was lost forever, hell bound, never to be rescued. I felt valueless, adrift and alone even though I was surrounded by people.
I began an eighteen month journey of feeling as if I was falling. I literally felt as if I were freefalling helplessly to my doom while doing anything, sitting, walking, working, and sleeping. Although I stayed on my new course, my domestication was so great that it took over my ability to reason. My mental state put my physical state into absolute alarm.
I was able to fight this, but many men cannot fight this, and they commit suicide. And it is not their fault; they are sensitive men following the poisonous counsel of ignorant straight male leaders to their destruction. In my opinion, it is the fault of the Mormon Church and its untrained leadership. This happens in the Mormon Church to gay Mormon men and apostate family members. But they are whisked away to proper Mormon funerals by embarrassed Mormon families, never to be heard from again, their stories buried with them, the embarrassed families silenced by their belief. This is real, this is a terrible mental abuse.
All men in my situation are given a choice: You let the knife stop your own heart, or you take that knife, and you force it out of the hands threatening you, and you wield it against them. You save yourself. You begin your metamorphosis. You transcend.

Thank You President Obama!

Friday morning we sat sipping our coffee and came across this story in the LA Times. We were so happy we had cake to celebrate!!!

President Obama late Thursday ordered most hospitals in the country to grant the same visitation rights to gay and lesbian partners that they do to married heterosexual couples. ... Obama ordered the [Secretary of Health & Human Services] to ensure that all hospitals getting Medicare and Medicaid money honor all patients' advance directives, including those designating who gets family visitation privileges.
The order also requires that documents granting power of attorney and healthcare proxies be honored, regardless of sexual orientation. The language could apply to unmarried heterosexual couples too.

The pen is mightier than the sword. We just want to say Thank you President Obama! Keep up the good work.

It's Time For Mike Huckabee to Retire

So have you seen this story yet? Mike Huckabee gets philosophical about gay marriage. I'm impressed with the profundity of his comments: Children aren't puppies. Wow. Impressive Mike. Let's all think about that one for a minute... Yeah I know, it's a ridiculous statement and doesn't need much reflection at all. So lets move on to other statements he made. Last week he was in Ewing N.J. at The College of New Jersey, speaking to the Student Government Association. He also gave an interview to campus news magazine The Perspective, for a Friday article. So this isn't new news, and further, his opinions aren't news - he's been saying this stuff for a while. What that tells me is that Huckabee has had time to attempt to apply a little spin to his comments, but I'm not seeing any backpedaling: Huckabee really is just a genuine bigot I'm afraid. He labeled the gay lifestyle "outside the ideal" and compared it to incest, polygamy and even bestiality! Wow am I offended! And the jaw-dropping ignorance doesn't end there...

"I don't have to prove that marriage is a man and a woman in a relationship for life," he said. "They have to prove that two men can have an equally definable relationship called marriage, and somehow that that can mean the same thing."

I can't believe he thinks homosexual couples haven't already proved the success of their relationships! I can tell you this: homo and hetero are not so different at all! The "committed relationships" we enter into can be just as successful between two men or two women who are equally committed to that relationship. Further, having worked in the club scene for many many years, I can tell you the heterosexual dating scene has just as much promiscuity and desperation as any other. There are successful and failed relationships on both sides. I think it's time to stop making sides and start celebrating our common humanity!
Toward the end of the article I've linked to at the top, there is a Huckabee quote regarding AIDS patients and I'm not going to repeat the fear filled hateful comments he made but let me just say it brought WWII concentration camps to my mind and I nearly cried. I'm horrified this man is thinking he should run for President in 2012 and I hope you all know the kind of man he really is.

Some things I found online about Huckabee and his political platform:
He does NOT support gay marriage obviously
He doe NOT support a woman's right to choose abortion
He does NOT support the Kyoto protocol (environmental treaty)
He does NOT support an assault weapons ban
He supports the Patriot Act
He supports an immigration border fence on the US/Mexican border
He supports the war in Iraq

What If You Weren't Invited To Your Own Prom?

Do you remember Constance McMillen? She made the news a couple months ago when she was told she wouldn't be allowed to bring a female date to her high school prom in Mississippi. When she tried to sue the school they simply canceled the prom. The school essentially told the entire world they would rather their kids are deprived of any good times at their Senior Prom than allow them to share the dance floor with a lesbian couple. Well the ACLU was as offended as we were and immediately stepped in with a new lawsuit on behalf of Constance: put on a prom for these kids - all of them. So a group of parents came to the game and announced they would host a private prom for the kids. They implied this would solve Constance' problem of being unable to bring a same-sex date to the public school event. They implied this was a solution for her. They didn't tell the court this was really a solution for them.
Constance was given the run around, told the event was canceled, and finally told the school-sponsored prom was back on and she could bring her date. But who was at this "school sponsored" prom? Seven misfit students. The parent organized event was still on and they made sure Constance and her girlfriend weren't invited and kept in the dark.
We have a couple of questions: What are they hoping to accomplish? And what message are they trying to send to the world? Because we're hearing hate. Lots of hate and discrimination. And we're wondering how on earth any of those parents think this was okay.
We're so sorry you were deprived of your prom Constance!

-Flora

Liberty And Justice For All?

I originally planned to post a note about a 'Technology Sabbath'. I am strongly considering participating. It would be interesting to see how I respond to a day away from so much technology. I might get more work done in the garden. I might connect to people on a real level as opposed to electronically. Ideally the trend spreads and is observed by many. I feel like participating in large positive group events/movements, sends out a very powerful positive intention and energy. I like being a part of that. I guess because it feels empowering.

But after reading the latest news about Lieutenant Dan Choi, we all felt we should write something about his situation.
Lt. Choi was discharged from the military one year ago for coming out as being gay after serving honorably under Don't Ask Don't Tell for ten years. Yesterday he handcuffed himself to the fence in front of The White House in peaceful protest. Today he's being held under arrest with Jim Pietrangelo and until recently, 5 others as well. A good place to get quick updates on developments in the case is the getEQUAL facebook page. Their latest post says:

GetEQUAL Breaking!! Offered $100 fine, Dan & Jim plead NOT GUILTY and demand a jury trial. We do not plead guilty for equality. Trial set for April. More to come.

This morning over coffee, all three of us called both our US Senators and submitted our comments to the White House contact page We would urge you to voice your concerns over the treatment of Lt. Choi as well.
This is how we feel. We're appalled that the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy exists to begin with. How degrading and insulting to expect an entire arm of the organization to pretend to be something else and hide their reality from their peers, denying them the full self expression and equality of choice afforded everyone else in this country! We're appalled that people are being treated this way. Men and women who've served us and protected our country and our freedom, are being ostracized, dismissed and worse. That makes us wonder what century we're in. And to see Lt. Choi arrested & mistreated because he staged a peaceful protest on the sidewalk just makes us shake our heads! Why is this even an issue?! Why does this man have to handcuff himself to the fence and get attention and be noticed? Our country has had one group or another fighting for equality since it's birth! And equality always wins! Make no mistake, equality will win in this case too. Those who oppose equal rights for LGBT people are on the wrong side of history and soon, time will catch up with them. Just as it did for those against the lowly colonists first, then those against the slaves gaining equality, and those against the rights of women... That's how we feel.
So why did Lt. Choi handcuff himself to the fence one year after his discharge? If I were guessing, I would guess his answer might be something like this: Because people can only affect change when they know a problem exists. Well hello everyone, Dan Choi is asking for your attention for just a moment. He would like to tell you this is a problem. He would like his equal rights now please. Just like we've been proclaiming since Thomas Jefferson wrote The Declaration of Independence! Are we really a nation still refusing to recognize that hypocrisy? These discriminatory policies may not have been instituted by us, but as a nation, these policies stand in our name and reflect on us as a group. Since I'm a part of that group, I'd like these policies changed! Don't Ask Don't Tell is a specific example with a clear answer: Repeal. But it's not the only issue of equality the LGBT community faces. Issues like California's Proposition 8 abound all over the nation and these are more examples of things that need to change!
We hope you'll write to the white house about repealing DADT, as well as about fair treatment for Lt. Choi. We also hope you'll take a moment to call your representatives. It's so easy. This morning we called and said we were constituents of the senator etc, we heard of the Lt Choi arrest and didn't think this was just, also we wanted to urge the Senator to work toward repealing DADT immediately etc. It's a very quick phone call to a sweet-voiced young lady taking messages. To get the number to call your Senators, click here. To find a number for your US House Representative click here, enter your zip+4 in a box near the top left and you will get a link to your Representative. Mine had his contact numbers and addresses listed at the bottom of his page - I called the Washington DC office number. And I did all of it while I sipped my coffee. I don't think that's too much to do to further the cause of equality in a country which claims that as one of it's founding principles.

-Flora

Barb Davis White is Confusing Me

So for the full obnoxious story you will have to go here but the gist of it is this: A Minnesota legislative committee met this week to discuss the legalization of same-sex marriage ('bout time, good for them). And Barb Davis White, a Tea Party activist and Republican candidate for Minnesota’s 5th Congressional District (does anyone else wonder how you can belong to one party, albeit a pretend one, and be running on another parties ticket?) took the opportunity to open her mouth against equality.

Apparently she feels the gay-rights movement has used momentum from the civil rights movement to further their own cause. Her exact words were "Rosa Parks did not move to the front of the bus to support sodomy." She points out that aside from skin color, there is no difference between a black person and a white person, but there's a tremendous difference between a man and a woman. Hmmm... okay we agree. But tell us again what bearing this has on what constitutes marriage? I mean, according to this woman, man and woman are different. And this is... the good kind of marriage right? And different races of people are the same. But this is the good kind too? But over here, my two guy friends who are same-same... that's wrong? Now I'm confused Barb! Can someone give me an actual logical reason against marriage for everyone?

- Flora

We NEED Our Heroes!

We know we've recently posted on Don't Ask Don't Tell, but we found this poster on coffeeghost.net and we love it! We feel like this pretty much sums up how we feel about things!

What thoughts and feelings does this poster bring up for you?
-Flora, Fauna & Merriweather

On Repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell

We got together for coffee this morning and the subject of Don't Ask Don't Tell came up. This was Congress and the US Military's answer in the early 90's, to previous policies regarding gay service members. It was supposed to be a gentler policy, but it ended up causing a huge number of gay and lesbian related discharges, as well as untold costs over the years. All three of us feel Don't Ask Don't Tell is long past due for repeal and Tuesday brought some welcome progress in that arena. On January 27, President Obama called for a repeal of DADT in his State of the Union address. And one week later in the Senate Armed Services Committee, several top US Military leaders addressed congress. We really love it when unexpected people step forward to show support for a worthy cause! Thanks to one of our readers who sent us this video link of Democracy Now.

To watch the episode, go here. It's about 30 minutes long - we really enjoyed it and highly recommend it.

We really loved the words of Admiral Mike Mullen, chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff who said:

Mr. Chairman, speaking for myself, and myself only, it is my personal belief that allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly would be the right thing to do. No matter how I look at this issue, I cannot escape being troubled by the fact that we have in place a policy which forces young men and women to lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens. For me, personally, it comes down to integrity, theirs as individuals and ours as an institution.

Bravo!

We're not so fond of Defense Secretary Robert Gates' claim which asserts that the Pentagon needs a year to review and implement these policy changes. But we're pleased he supports the repeal nonetheless.

Of course Senator John McCain opposes the repeal - surprise, surprise. Interestingly, McCain stated on an episode of Hardball: College Tour back in 2006, that he was simply listening to the leadership of the military in his choice to support the policy. He also said that if the military leadership were to come to him in support of a repeal of the policy, he would strongly consider such. Well here we are today and Senator McCain, the ranking Republican in the Senate, is still vehemently opposed to lifting the ban. Despite the words of top military leaders. Also despite his own daughter being a lesbian in support of this policy change. Also despite the fact that both of his sons, who too serve in the military, support the repeal of DADT!

Merriweather almost spilled her coffee when we heard John McCain claim that the policy had been effective! We're not sure what world he's living in! And we loved what guest Nathaniel Frank had to say about that!

It’s hard to know where to begin with him. I think he was visibly angry yesterday. But his inconsistencies are difficult to understand. You know, you wonder if it’s personal. Historically, he’s not been known as being ... the most anti-gay Republican lawmaker. We know he has high-level gay staff. And yet, this seems very personal to him. Of course, he’s facing ... a difficult political landscape. And so, it’s not clear to me if this is a personal or a political decision, but it’s certainly irrational.

And to say that this works—I mean, two-thirds of servicemembers already know or suspect gays in their units, and the other third are kidding themselves if they really think that they’ve never shared quarters with a gay person. So the policy has failed at its most basic goal, which was to shield servicemembers of knowledge of gay people. And not to mention all of the costs, in terms of talent, money and morale for gay people. So it’s a complete failure. It’s hard for him to say otherwise.

There are currently 25 countries that allow gays to serve openly in their military. All 25 made the implementation quickly and without apology or hesitation. This is what we need to do now! As Gates said, "We have received our orders from the Commander-in-Chief, and we are moving out accordingly."

And may we add: It's about time!!!

-Flora