Office Max, Ice Cream and a New Goal

My sons dad and I talk often about the importance of teaching our son to set goals, then work on attaining them.  Truthfully, when you boil down the teen events that Merriweather and I do, one of the big things I hope to achieve is opening kids minds to the possibilities available to them and helping them set goals that inspire them!  My son attended the event on the 5th, so discussing goal setting with him again is probably very timely at this point.  A few weeks back he came home from school after a career day, with a list of possible jobs hastily scribbled onto a corner of paper and torn from his worksheet.  In telling me about the possibilities that caught his attention, I could hear he wasn't especially excited about any of them.

A little after that, my son and I had a conversation about my renewed work on the novel I'm writing.  He agreed he would try to get things for himself while I was writing, or wait till I took a break to ask something of me.  Partly because of that conversation, he's taken more notice of what I'm doing and has noticed I'm writing.  This has had the unexpected effect of giving him more confidence in his own writing abilities.  In the past, he has been very resistant to writing of any kind.  He doesn't like to write by hand and his typing skills are just now getting to a point where he feels like he's accomplishing something to type rather than hand write.

Writing is also, I think, a sort of deceptive craft.  It seems like it should be easy, right?

"I speak well, tell stories, converse, entertain and delight verbally, why shouldn't I be able to write it down in a bestseller?"

 Similarly, I think it seems to kids who read a beautifully narrated story that they could do this too and it should be easy!  For those who don't naturally lay down pages of prose however, it can be very intimidating.  So when my son had struggled over every word and come up with three lines, poorly constructed, he was understandably discouraged.  He let that feeling keep him from writing anything for a long time but he's not intimidated or discouraged by writing any more!  Shortly after he started to take notice of my writing, he began writing his own story!  He'll join me while I write, bringing his laptop into whatever room I'm in, saying "Hey Mom, wanna write together?"  Clearly, having such a real example of that possibility makes it an attainable goal for him.

Last week he finished his story.  It's over 4500 words and is nine pages long when printed!  He's so proud...  So am I!  With the final version in hand, we went to Office Max for binding and once it was all put together I thought his face might crack from the huge smile pasted there!  I decided this wasn't the time to go home so we drove out to a Jim's Diner for hot cocoa and ice cream sundaes.  When asked about the scrap of paper he had brought home after career day, he informed me he didn't want to do those things - he wanted to be a writer!  He had such a great time working on his first story he wants to do more writing.  Watching him light up as he talked about it made me grin from ear to ear.

He told me over ice cream that he wants to be an author and have his story read by thousands of people.  I told him bestselling authors sell millions of copies of their books.  I said "When you write a book, you won't reach thousands of people, you'll reach millions."  That idea lit up his whole face!  I reminded him not to think small about himself, just like he learned from Kevin Hall.  So he wants to be a writer!  And he wants to work on that and set goals that will make him a better writer and develop his skill.  Whatever he ends up pursuing as an adult, it's so exciting to see him dreaming about his future.

I'm interested lately in what kinds of goals we set and how we reach them.  Do you regularly set and work on goals?  Do you help your kids reach goals?  What  methods do you implement for yourself or your kids to achieve those goals?

Kevin Hall & the Story of 4,000 Men

My favorite speaker at our iCreate teen event on February 5th was definitely Kevin Hall and I've been thinking a lot about his message since then.  His commitment to the kids was visible that day and I'm positive the contributions he made will be felt for a long time.  First, he simply gave of his time and it was really evident how interested he was in their dreams and how much faith he had in their aspirations!  Second, he gave everyone a copy of his book Aspire! Discovering Your Purpose through the Power of Words.  This is such a giving gesture, especially since I've read the book.  I hadn't had the opportunity to enjoy it before the 5th but have since read it cover to cover!  This is one of those books that can shift the way you see and live life!

Several years ago I was on a plane from Los Angeles where I lived, headed to Salt Lake City to visit my family.  There was a man in the next seat who quickly engaged me in conversation.  He reminded me of my dad in a lot of ways, but at the time my own father-daughter relationship was very strained.  I didn't usually spend a lot of time chatting with strangers on flights but a paternal interaction lacking in the usual negativity was a rare thing and at that time.  He was very caring and I sensed a genuine concern from him.  Eventually he brought the conversation around to a book he carried everywhere with him:  The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.  He told me it had changed his life and wanted to give me his copy.  He said he'd purchased the book dozens of times and always ended up giving it away to someone.  aI read a bit of the book but eventually it landed on my bookshelf to be ignored for a while.

Skip forward to fall of 2005, I had just left a very toxic and abusive work environment, was working a very very part time job, going through a complete career change, unable to support myself or my son, going through a painful divorce and drifting through life.  Really I was right on the edge.  One day, by chance, I picked up the book that was resting so patiently on my shelf and it changed, and really saved, my life!  I believe Kevin's book has that same potential to change lives.

At this time, several of those kids are reading Kevin's book and understanding the amazing concepts on whatever level they can.  I'm so excited by that prospect!  There are also a lot of those kids who have put that book on the shelf.  But it's still there, waiting, holding all that potential transformation.  And it belongs to those kids, already in their hands.  That, to me, is huge.

One story from the book that I loved: his story about 4,000 retired executives.  The gist is that Dr Gerald Bell asked 4,000 retired executives with an average age of 70, one simple question: If they could live their life over again, what would they change or do differently?  The overwhelming majority of these men said they would carve out goals earlier in life!  I think of all the people I know who end up in jobs, homes, even relationships, by default!  This happens because they never took the time to clearly define exactly what it is they want in life.  Having clear goals prevents this sort of drifting through life.  With goals we can intentionally create the life we choose!  I'm curious, who out there intentionally creates the life of your choosing and who goes with the flow, ending up wherever life sets you?  And for those of you going with the flow, I'd love to hear if this is a conscious choice or a default setting?

Missing you...

I hope all my readers will forgive me for taking such an extended hiatus! I've been gone a while because I'm working on an all consuming project recently. It's another writing project that I've been spending most of my time on - yes, I'm cheating on you. Despite the constant writing though, I've been getting an itch lately - that itch to write something, and publish it immediately. If you're a blogger, you may recognize my need for instant gratification. Don't get me wrong, it's very exciting to see this project take shape! I just felt like I might be lacking a little reader interaction these days!

Aside from the writing, I was recently involved in another project that inspired and humbled me. Me and two of my very good friends organized a teen workshop addressing issues like clarity, inspiration, integrity, accountability, finding your soul purpose and so much more! Last Saturday we brought together five great presenters, so many wonderful sponsors, a beautifully catered lunch and 39 of the most amazing teens I've ever met!

It was a hectic few weeks leading up to the event and in the final week prior, I did let myself fall behind schedule on my writing project, but that's getting caught up now so I don't feel bad. We started getting quite a bit of interest from kids and some of them didn't have the funds to attend the workshop but we hated to turn anyone away so we started looking for sponsors. Now keep in mind, as of yet, there is no non-profit status to claim and no tax benefits to offer to those who might consider donating to our cause. All we had to offer was the gratitude of these kids and a banner with their logo on our website! Still, again and again we got small business owners agreeing to sponsor a teen for the day! I was touched again and again by the generosity of people. One sponsor I communicated with a few times, was finally able to sponsor a teen just one day before the event. I emailed to say I would love to add his business cards or fliers to the take-home bags we were putting together and I'd be willing to drive to wherever he was to pick them up. I assumed he was local. He had seen about the event on facebook, seen that we were looking for sponsors for teens who were unable to go on their own, read about what we were doing and decided this was a cause he could get behind, but he wasn't here in town, he was in Colorado! So there was nothing he could gain in return, he just wanted to give a teen that wanted to go, that opportunity! I was so moved.

Kevin Hall spoke before lunch and as a gift to the kids, gave every one of them a copy of his book Aspire! Discovering your purpose through the power of words and the companion journal Discovering your purpose through the power of your words. He really connected & interacted with those kids and I could tell how much he cared.

Charan Prabhakar came all the way from Los Angeles for the day and the kids absolutely loved him. He would step in after a particularly heavy moment with a lighthearted story that made everyone laugh, while handily illustrating and underlining the concept the kids had just talked about. He definitely made an impression on them and I'm so thankful he was able to be with us for the day!

At lunch time, the kids grouped up and worked on setting goals while they enjoyed a delicious lunch donated by Kneader's Bakery in South Jordan. I loved seeing them smiling and laughing while they ate and worked on creating new possibilities for their future.

I ran back and forth all day between two conference rooms in an adorable pair of white go-go boots - I even vacuumed in them at the end of the day because I'm that awesome. Indeed, I looked fabulous, but I definitely paid for it! Over the next two days I suffered through the healing blisters and throbbing feet, but now that I've recovered, nothing but the sweet memories remain! I got to meet wonderful kids, work with amazing people, get further clarity around my own vision & purpose in life and eat delicious Kneader's sandwiches for lunch! All in all it was a pretty fantastic day! The format and style need a little work but overall it was a screaming success and I foresee many teen empowerment seminars in my future. I might need to buy some insoles.